So Monday and Tuesday both started out as great days. I woke up and went for a walk. Monday I was able to do 1.47 miles and worked all day. Tuesday I walked a little further 1.67 miles and at a faster pace. It was good. Then came the call from Dr. Akay, the surgical oncologist. She had received my request for additional information and was returning my call.

My plan had crumbled again in a matter of minutes. I was asking for some sort of game plan and Dr. Akay started with, “well since you live in Florida it won’t be easy. I need you to come back in 2 weeks for imaging, then We will do surgery and try to save the breast. If not then a mastectomy but that will be hard. I would have to place spacers and they would need adjusting, then your drainage tubes and if you have complications. Or you can just go flat for 6-12 months.”

WTF! Go flat for 6-12 months! So I am already walking around like freak with no hair and you want me to go flat! Yes, my hair will grow back and yes being flat is not the most important factor. But it is devastating and overwhelming. I know the most important thing is to get cured and not have it come back. Yes, come back. Having triple negative cancer is more likely to come back within 5 years then any other cancer.

So I asked the Dr. why do you want me back in two weeks and she said well your hematoma should be better and we can try to get a baseline and see if the chemo is working or if the cancer is growing. More good news. Not! Cancer growing. There is a small chance that the cancer can grow. As she tells me that the phone disconnects. I felt like she hung up because I was questioning her. So I call Juan and he doesn’t answer. At this point the tears are flowing like Niagara falls. I call Juan again, nothing. So I call me sister and tell her everything. I tell her that if this would have been dealt with in 2015 it would have been smaller and I wouldn’t have had to go through chemo, and radiation. Then my phone rings again. It was Dr. Akay’s nurse saying the phone was disconnected and Dr. Akay wanted to know if I had other questions. I said no, but what I really wanted to say was, “Dr. Akay sucks!” But the nice me didn’t say it. And she probably doesn’t suck but her bedside manners and personality could use improvement.

So then I reached out to Michelle M. My high school friend whom also had breast cancer. Just the night before she was texting me about my trip to MDA. Michelle was the voice of reasoning as she has been from the start. She said, that it would be hard with the reconstruction and living in Florida. She said to do more research that there are good surgical oncologist everywhere. The tears finally stopped!

I finally got a hold of Juan and told him. He agreed that we need to find another surgen. Maybe at Moffit or locally. So I researched more. Found some more information on Oralndo Health. So I requested an appointment.

I have to say I am proud of myself. I had a melt down and allowed myself to. Then I got back up and I am good again. It is a roller coaster ride but I know in the end it will all be for a greater propose!

I am blessed! I got this!