Alright it has been real since day one! Went to the surgen on Tuesday and discussed the procedure. I will be having a skin saving procedure. All I can say is that after 5 minutes of talking I felt like the Charlie Brown scene with the teacher (wha wha wha wha wha). Then I kicked back in gear and discussed the lymph nodes.

I will have a Saviscout put in on 1/23. This will help detect if cancer is in the other lymph nodes so that they can be removed.

Funny how the Dr said “don’t worry about the surgery you just finished chemo and that was difficult, Surgery isn’t.” I told him easy for you to say as you do this all the time but you are taking a piece of me away.

Reality is we identify ourselves with things that aren’t whom we truly are deep down. Trust me I still have my moments. But our hair doesn’t define us and neither does your body. We are much more then the physical being. People might see us in different ways. The people that truly know you, know you for more than your hair, boobs or any other physical attribute. Yes we all want to be attractive and feel good. And yes I don’t want scares and look like the scare crow from the wizard of Oz. For today, I feel that one day I will look at my scares and be proud. Be proud that I fought and beat cancer.

I can write this now but I have moments of fear that creep in and I think nope I am not having this surgery. Then I fight it and say bitch you are cray cray you have to, your cancer is aggressive!

So I rely on my five minute role and dig deep into my faith. I will be fine and I will be strong and show other women that we can fight cancer and that we must be our on advocate!

I got this! I am blessed.