As I sit and reflect on Tuesday’s Dr. visit all I can think of is for 2 hours I actually felt relief.

The process was surreal and weird to say the least. I was so worked up and worried about the removal of the drains and the expansions. The PA walked in and started asking me questions. I felt like she wouldn’t stop talking. Then she mentioned her mother and helping her with breast cancer. And she still wouldn’t stop talking….. She then asked about my emotions and meds. My eyes teared up a little. I felt like saying well it isn’t everyday that you have your breast removed, be told your cancer mutated. But I was nice and allowed her to speak. Come to think of it I don’t think she would have stopped speaking. Then she asked if I have gone to any support groups. I said yes and the first time I wanted to slit my wrist. It was doom and gloom! I don’t want that or need that. I told I need a positive group not one of anger and dispare. Then she mentioned the support group at the hospital. And talked about anxiety meds. As she walked out I asked Juan, “what the hell, do I look depressed”? He said no she is just trying to help.

So I took it for what it was worth. Then two more nurses walk in. One on each side of me. They said they would expanded me with 120cc. They put this magnet on my chest and marked the spot for the needle. I had two purple “x” on my breast. Then they said on the count of three we will insert the needle. 1,2,3, I didn’t feel a thing. Then you see these huge tubes filled with saline. I felt like Chester the mad scientist was coming around the corner. Again, I really didn’t feel a thing. They gave me instructions and off I go till next week.

I remember telling Juan, “wow, I actually feel better with two drains out. Can’t wait to remove the other two”! So we decided to go to dinner. We went to this really nice Italian restaurant. Not sure why but this whole cancer thing has me craving Italian a lot. Nevertheless, as we walked in Juan noticed a fellow coworker. We said hello and sat down. Our meals were excellent and as we got ready to pay the waitress said the meals were paid for. His co worker had picked up our tab. It was such a nice surprise. And then the pressure set in. I felt like I had a belt squeezing the top of my chest. Came home and took my meds. Overall it was a win for me. I know once these drains come out I will feel better to continue this so called fight.

I am blessed! I got this!