It’s hard to stay positive sometimes and I must say depression tries to set in. Between the aches in my spine, aches in my ribs and this lovey lymphedema, I battle everyday with doing my best to stay positive. I know I am so blessed and I am grateful but sadness does creep in.

The daily regimen of pills, massage and trying to lose weight also have been bummed. I have to lose weight to have reconstruction by January 31. It is doable and I know I will get there but the struggle is real. I have always had issues with my weight so this is nothing new. But to know that after all that I have gone through and all the pills I am on that I have to lose 34lbs is somewhat disturbing. I wasn’t this weight prior to all this and I had completed a half marathon. I was feeling better then ever and then the dreadful diagnosis. Again, I know I will get through this and will lose what I need to but the ugly truth is, this is hard!

I have been so blessed to have love ones support me. But I have also lost some relationships during this journey. I know that it is better for my health but the sad truth is that it is still hurtful. I look back at when I was diagnosed and realize that I had put myself in a situation of caring for others and not myself first. I still struggle with it but I am learning that I must come first not in a selfish way but in a healthy way. My cup must be filled first before I can fill others or even thinking of filling others.

So as we await this stupid Hurricane Dorian I remind myself that it is ok to get down but don’t stay there! Push through as hard as you can till the end. Try to make a difference in my life and in others. Love yourself and let others love you. After all what is this all for ……

 

Had to repost for others that might needs this today or tomorrow……9/4/19

There’s one thing I know for sure: You’ll cycle in and out of obstacles as life goes on, because hardships are inevitable. But what’s optional is suffering. How you perceive your situation, handle it, and move on is a choice.

And I know it’s difficult to think positive when you’re stuck in the middle of a mess. I know it hurts and that you break in the midst of it all. But please train your mind to find a pinch of optimism in every difficult situation and hold on to it tightly until you fight your way out of the dark. You’ll look back a year, a month, or weeks from when your hardship took place and you’ll be very grateful for why things played out the way they did.

I am blessed! I got this!