It’s been a while since my last post but I felt it was time to express myself. Although treatment is done, my journey continues. When diagnosed with cancer your life is turned upside down. The mix of emotions are overwhelming to say the least. In my experience, I went from diagnoses, treatment, and what’s next. Many say that after treatment the feelings of “what’s next” is overwhelming.

During cancer treatment you have a plan and somewhat of a timetable. After treatment it becomes a what’s next. Yes, for me check ups are every 3-4 months. And that’s when you realize PTSD is real and you don’t have to fight in a war or be in the military to have it. Although fighting cancer is a silent war. But the realty is you are in the flight or fight mode. Then treatment is over. No more chemo, radiation and pills. What’s left is a scared body, beaten mind and a continual reminder that it can come back.

My reconstruction was February 22, 2020. It was six weeks of healing and rest. By week two I wanted return to work and move on. But then Covid-19 hit and my six weeks became ten. Then I got furloughed. The furlough was to last only two weeks but then the call came that it would be another 60 days before we come back or even get eliminated. The stress of not knowing if I will have a job or watch others lose their job is unsettling. I recall stating that I believe I handled my cancer better then this covid and now the politic mess we are in.

It all stems from our state of mind and how we handle change, drama, life. You see, I had the opportunity to get away this past weekend and it was an eye opener for me on several levels. I felt I grow leaps and bonds in just two days. I visited my dearest friends and was able to remove myself the day to day events. No Facebook, Instagram or news for two days. Although prior to the visit I removed my Facebook and Instagram apps off my phone. Both social platforms became to overwhelming and controlling. But for the most part we didn’t watch the news. It was refreshing. Which brings me to one of my points. Our minds are so powerful but yet fragile. It is like the expression, weather you think you can or can’t you are right. Allowing your mind to overcome certain fears or limitations is powerful. That is true in so many levels. After surgery I have been cautious to move and use my right arm. Not realizing I have been limiting myself on many levels. I took the time to heal but now it’s time to live. And as far as Covid goes it is time to live. Live cautiously, wear a mask, wash your hands and keep your distance. This too shall pass!

On the social aspect of things remove yourself from the media, social apps and see how much better you feel. Try it, you will be surprised the silent effects it has on you. There is a lot of bad in this world and if that is all we focus on we will never heal or move forward. Stress is the number one cause to a lot of illness! So for now, I respect the differences in one another, learn each day a new terminology, understand the history and work towards peace, knowledge and respect!

I got this! I am blessed! We all are blessed!

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