Journey through My Cancer

Since my Facebook post I have received so many caring and loving messages. I have been blessed with visits from friends, care packages to cover all my cancer systems, like lemon drops to take away the metal taste, “fuck cancer socks”, journals, blankets, wraps, gift baskets. Prayers and more Prayers. I have also received cards, phone calls and text messages all have meant so much to me. I feel the support and love! The truth is a simple text goes a long way…

So I will start with the Good! I had a great night of sleep. I feel good and only feel a little head ache. I do have the tingle in my face and scalp. But overall it is all good! I even made a few sales calls today.

The bad! My hair is coming out in clumps. I had to call someone as I cried like a baby. I mean cried with snot and all! So I called Juan and just cried to him. He was supportive and even said he would turn back around and be with me but I said no, I had to get work done. It is the must emotional thing for me. I know people say, “it will grow back”, but the reality is for women, well at least for me it is beauty. Lets face it, when you have a bad hair day you just don’t feel good. Plus if you see me now you don’t see me as a person with cancer. Without my hair I will now have the cancer stamp on my forehead.

The Good! I am prepared. I have been blessed with an ex-colleague that brought me his wife’s wigs. And for that I thank Brad and Lynn! I am also blessed with two dear friends that drove up to see my yesterday and we went wig shopping. I tried on 9 different wigs and finally found one that I could feel okay with. I also ordered some wraps and scarfs. Those are still in the bag. So I have options. Ge’ez I might even rock the bald look. Truth is I don’t know what I am gonna do. What I do know is that I will need to shave my head in the next few days and I am scared….. But as I say, “I GOT THIS”!

So today was chemo session #2. It is hard to express the anxiety and concern that comes with coming to another session of chemo. The first session was good. I can probably even say it was great. Well as great as chemo can be….. I had a few days of being really tired, a few days of aches and another few days of pain in my back ribs when I coughed. So this session came with concerns on will I feel the same? Will they have issues with my port? My hair? you name it – it all goes through your head. Well at least it did mine. But I took deep breaths and prayed to God.

I came in positive and with my note book of questions. I totally recommend having a notebook. The first person to come into the room is the young nurse that handles the trail that I am on. The trail is a double blinded trail to help people with the nausea and vomiting. The double blinded means that no one knows what I am getting and each time, and it can be different. So maybe, just maybe I got the real medicine the first time and that’s why I got through it ok…..

Now Dr Ajaz, my oncologist comes in and says how proud she is of me and went over all the Pet Scan and Stage. So I officially have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Stage 3 with a triple negative. Say that 3x’s … okay don’t. So they draw blood from my port again this time having to flush the port several times to be able to pull all the blood necessary for the test. The nurse comes back and says the blood machine is having issues and they might have to drive the blood to their second office but I would still get chemo. So Juan said I’ll drive it. The Dr. said no it has to be a nurse but that they would look at the machine and recalibrate it. They did and it finally worked. So off to my chemo chair for treatment.

I say a little prayer and it begins. The thoughts flow through my head again, will I respond the same as I did last time? Then the peace overcomes the thoughts and I am good again. The first chemo is administered which is the Cytoxan (red in color) and should take 30 minutes to run. After 15 minutes the nurse comes and says your done and I said well that wasn’t 30 minutes. She was scared and said yes I know. She asked how do you feel. I said good but a little itchy. She quickly went to the Dr. and told her that she pushed through in 15 min and not 30 min. The Dr. came by and said its ok we can push through in 5 minutes if we want but since your in a trial it should be in 30. So all is good again. Next, chemo two Doxorubicin. This one is done in an hour. All is good with that one. Now for my Neulasta. Neulasta is to boost your immune system after chemo. They place it in the back of your arm and it stays there for 27 hours. On hour 24 it injects the medicine is 3 portions. Then you pull it off and discard it. CHEMO SESSION #2 IS DONE!!!!!

 

This blog is not intended to describe how cancer effects everyone. This blog is my experience with breast cancer. One in eight women are affected with breast cancer and everybody is different. This is not intended to question others and how their experience might differ from mine. I have three specific goals with this blog.

1. Help other breast cancer warriors through their journey
2. Assist families, friends and supporters on what their loved one is going through
3. Most importantly this blog is a venue for me to journal my experience and heal through this process with grace and understanding!

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton