Our first visit to Md Anderson was a success! I was anxious from the start but as we walked in I started to feel a sense of comfort. From the warm welcome and seeing others sitting there fight cancer. Quickly my name was called and I stepped in to the registration desk. Since I had completed all the forms in advance it was an easy process and the lady was so pleasant. She walked me back to the waiting room and told me I would be called for my vitals shortly. She was correct I was called in and was asked what arm can I take your blood pressure on? I said either. Then I realised I was asked that question because once you have lymph nodes removed you don’t want your BP taken on that arm anymore to prevent Lymphedema. (Thanks Michell M. for that information.)

Lymphedema is swelling caused by a build-up of lymph fluid under your skin.

As my vitals were taken and in walks in the Kim, Dr. Nurse. She was so pleasant and calm. She spoke to both Juan and I and went over my meds and personal information. Oh and Kim also asked if I wanted a Pastor or Priest to call me to talk and pray and also a dietian. Naturally, I said yes. Then Dr. Theriault, Oncologist came in. She asked questions and reviewed some of my records but you could tell she had read them prior to coming in. She asked, “how I was feeling” and I told her, “feeling pretty good”. Then she asked any shortness of breath and I started to cry. She quickly handed my tissues and said, “why are you crying” and I said, “because I have had shortness of breath and it scares me.” I have read up on side effects and shortness of breath. We moved on and discussed my current treatment plan and she is in total agreement. Then she asked me if I had any questions. Which of course I had my note pad with 13 questions and of those 13 questions Dr. Theriault had already answered over 10 of them. Dr. Theriault said she would like me to do some imaging so that they have a baseline from now then again after chemo. She also recommended I speak with the surgeon while here. Naturally, I said yes. So she said go have lunch and we will call you with your next appointments.

I can’t explain how good I felt waking out of that appointment. I remember telling Juan how I felt renewed and refreshed. I felt like my plan was on target. So Juan and I went to lunch then headed back to my sisters since we didn’t hear back. I was called later that afternoon and was given the my appointment time to see Dr. Rachel Akay.

So we head out to see Dr. Akay and for some reason all I could think about was my Mom. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I guess, I was just missing her. I walk in to the Dr office alone as Juan was parking the car and I didn’t want to be late. As I enter once again I scan the office and see the different woman whom are also fighting the fight. I notice the ones with a wig, the ones with the bald head and the one with the baseball cap and wig. I think to myself how this crazy disease effects everyone so differently and it is not one size fits all. I was called up to get my vitals and again asked which arm? I can’t express how wonderful all the staff are at MD Anderson.

Dr. Akay was taking a few minutes longer then expected and in walks in Monica. She is the coordinator that I had spoken to several times. She walked and said she wanted to meet in person. She asked if I was given a pink backpack and so me folders. I said, “No”. So she replied I will have them mailed to you, that way you don’t have to travel with it. Again, awesome personal touches….. Then Dr. Akay walked in and all of a sudden I was fighting back tears. We talked about the different options I have for surgery. Clear margins or mastectomy. Both good options as long as the genetic tests come back okay. Then we discussed mastectomy in detail and what would need to happen. I had a plan in my head and all of a sudden that plan went to SHIT! I thought one surgery and I am done…. Nope if I choose mascetomy it is several operations not one. All because I will need Radiation. I HATE CANCER! And if you know anything about me you know that the word “HATE”. It is such a strong word and I dont liek to use it. But boy I tell you, I HATE CANCER! Oh and she cancelled all the imaging that Dr. Theriault scheduled because she said with the hematoma she would not be able to get a clear image.

So as I leave the office my mind is going crazy. I fight the thoughts and try to calm myself. Not one operation but a few! What type of operation should I choose? Where do I have the operation? Here and go through several trips of going back and forth and all the other nuances that go with this decisions. What is the best decision for me? From yesterday to today my whole game plan and thought process went to hell.

Then I remember how I felt yesterday and thought, yes my plan can change but most importantly what I do know for right now is that my current treatment plan (chemo) is right! And for that I am blessed. I am blessed that my wonderful supporting husband is right by my side and that I have a wonderful sister and family that are right there to help!

I GOT THIS!