So its been very weird these past months to say the very least. After fighting cancer you laugh at the thought of Covid. But realty is that Covid does also kill. But then you wonder what is this all for! You realize that we are just a pon in the game called life. WHY IS IT THAT THEY CAN GET A VACINE for Covid but yet we still have people dying of cancer. Let’s face it cancer is a money maker. I see more cancer facilities being built. I wasn’t chosen for a trail for women with TNBC. But yet Covid is already on the the third trial session for FDA approval. It just makes me wonder.

I wonder when will things get normal or what will be my new normal. I go to PT 2x a week to get my arm drained and I go once a week for a deep tissue release and lymphedema drainage massage. No it isn’t like a normal massage. The first 15 min I fight the tears and she pushes down on scare tissue to release it. Just for it to come back four or five days later. It’s so painful that there are times I feel like I’m gonna pee in my pants of just how painful it is. Then she works on draining the arm, armpit and entire right upper breast area. I get the last 10 min if that of a back and neck massage. I have been doing this treatment for over 8 weeks now. I know it works because when I leave the rib and breast discomfort goes away. The hand is back to a almost normal size. But then it all creeps back around day five. I’m hoping with time it will last longer as I have seen it work but this just can’t be my new norm.

My next MRI is in Sept. So here we go again. The anx of the whole cancer process starts over. Is the rib pain the cancer coming back. Is the sharp pain on my breast something new. Is this the new norm. Yes treatment is over but living with the side effects and trying to find your new norm isn’t easy also! I know the alternative is worse. I get it! But for know I remind myself how very blessed I am and that I got this!